I sat up sleepless the night of our first time,
admiring the smooth pastures of your body.
You slept soundly with the sheet sitting
right at the small of your back. I listened
and memorized the rhythm of your
breathing, the grumble of your snore, and
the sound of your dreaming. I thought of
how good you were to me—the way you’d
shut your eyes so tightly when you hugged
me, as if taking it all in—to never forget our
loving embrace, but when you’d kiss me,
those cerulean eyes were wide open like
jewels staring me straight in the face. And
when you stared into the sun, you gave a
cyan gaze that burned through my heart.
I thought about the promise you’d made
me just days before this night. It’ll always
be you and me—you said—I love you. And
when you said those three words I felt the
magic in your eyes and the warmth of your
words that seemed to flow out of you like
water from a fountain. A fountain of love
and beauty and strength, and kindness.
I thought of how lucky I was to have a love
like you—a love that not everyone gets to
experience in their life, and I wasn’t gonna
take one bit of that for granted. It was a
love that not many people knew about.
We were a well-kept secret, hidden in my
sock drawer, buried like treasure sunken deep
in the Mediterranean—treasures of my
soul and treasures of my heart. And you
gave me your heart, once, to put in my
drawer—remember?— but I gave it back.
No physical object could ever match the
feelings you gave me when you held
me, told me you loved me, or even
when you’d just look at me and smile.
I never wanted to lose that feeling and
that’s why, then, as you laid asleep
beside me, I took that moment to look
at you and smile, knowing that you were
all mine. Your soft cerulean eyes, and
your plump pink lips that would dip into
mine as gentle as an evening breeze; your
strong, tender hands that held onto my hands
so securely. It was all mine and no one
could take it from me—except for you.
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